if you must fall in love with me.

If you must fall in love with me, let it be for the right reasons.

Don’t fall in love with me because of my outward beauty.

If I am beautiful, it will not be so forever. How many more years will I have until the beauty fades?

Right now, my hair is thick and shiny. My skin is smooth. My eyes are bright. My figure slim. But if you fall in love with those things, eventually I will disappoint you. Perhaps gradually you will notice my hair turning grey, or wrinkles outlining my eyes and mouth, or skin that doesn't quite hold as firm as it once did. Or maybe you will notice all at once--you'll wake up one day and realize that I am not the one you fell in love with. If your love is attached to my beauty, will you still love me when the source of your love has faded? I don’t think you will.

If you must fall in love with me, fall in love with my brain.

I’ve got a lot of things going on up there. I’m smart. I’m witty. I’m curious and outspoken. I express opinions. I problem-solve.

I have so many ideas about so many random things—fixing, building, changing the world. Some of my ideas are quite ridiculous, but the ingenious ones exist, as well. And the ridiculous ones, if nothing else, are good for a laugh.

I can do math in my head, and have a vocabulary that would put many modern authors to shame.

I read everything. Books, articles, magazines, even road signs.  

I figure things out for myself, instead of just believing what I’m told.

And I know that I’m not always right, but I know you’re not always right, either.

If you must fall in love with me, fall in love with my heart.

I cry during animal shelter commercials and daddy-daughter dances at weddings.

I also cry during baptisms. Every. Single. Time.

When people hurt, I hurt. When hate permeates the world, my soul cries out for those affected, and I will do everything in my power to turn that hate into love.

Fewer things in this world give me greater joy than seeing my niece and nephew’s faces when they open presents at Christmas, or feeling their arms wrap around my neck when they hug me.

Hugs in general…those are my favorite.

If one wish of mine could be granted, I would choose that every single person in the world would experience the love of Christ—a love that brings light and hope and peace beyond all understanding, even in the midst of seemingly absolute darkness.

If you must fall in love with me, please realize that I am flawed.

I am insecure.

I am sometimes very much a coward.

I am astoundingly selfish, and independent to a fault.

Also, I’m pigeon-toed.

If you must fall in love with me, know that loving me won’t always be easy.

I won’t let my walls down for just anyone. I won’t trust you right away.

I can be the biggest brat in the world at times. I’ll huff and puff and pout if I don’t get my way.

I have misophonia, which means you have to be really, REALLY careful when eating or chewing gum around me. And seriously……just say “no” to clicky-pens.

I’ll correct you when you’re wrong about something…and sometimes I forget to be kind about it.

I might push you away at times, because I’m scared of being hurt again.

If you must fall in love with me, know that I will never love you more than I love my God.

If that thought disappoints you, you are the wrong kind of man for me. 

God is my source of air when I'm drowning in this world. I will always seek Him first.

So, even if it seems like I love you too much...know you're still number two.

If you must fall in love with me, know that I am constantly changing.

Not in the core of my being....not in my identity. But my thoughts change. New opinions form. I don't even come close to knowing everything--but I learn new things all the time that change me.

I might not always want to dance and sing and go out and travel everywhere--okay, actually, I don't see the wanderlust fading--but I will always want and need love.

If you must fall in love with me, fall in love with the qualities that will not disappear with the passage of time. 

Take any beauty you might see as a temporary bonus, for it does not represent my true self.

If you must fall in love with me, fall in love with me hard.

And if you must fall in love with me, I beg you to never change your mind.